The insanity that is a trip to church for Hurricane Jeffries
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The insanity that is a trip to church for Hurricane Jeffries

So with in the first 10 minuets of church today I was in the Stake Presidents (a Mormon term) Restroom with Hunter, naked from the waist down with pee all over the floor and me starring in disbelief.  I had cleaned out the car the night before and was left standing there wondering why on earth i had thought i could go anywhere with just a couple of diapers and some wipes in my everyday bag for the 2 year old. 

My jaw dropped as he looked at me and said, “guess i’ll have to just walk around naked.”  This is my almost 6 year old who hasn’t had an out of the house accident in over a year.  How on earth does this kid think that statement is anything but beyond ridiculous.  I looked at him and said, “STAY!”  and went to retrieve my husband from sacrament meeting to send him on a search for pants……any pants.

After a mad search through the rarelly cleaned out Denali he came back empty handed. CRAP!!  I went back to our seats with our waiting other 3 children who were being unusually good, thank goodness.  I asked a few families sitting closest to us if they had ANYTHING we could borrow to cover up Hunters bear butt but no one had anything available.  So i grabbed Airabella and told the other boys to “STAY!!  Please.”  and went back to the bathroom to decide what to do.  

I was seriously considering taking off the tee shirt Airabella had under her jumper and shoving his legs through the arm hold and just tieing my scarf around the waist to just get us out of the bathroom.

My husband and I starred at each other for a moment completely dumbfounded and at a lose.  I then went into “ok i can do this” mode and said to all of them “STAY”  and i took off.  I asked a few more people and nothing til finally a friend had a pair of shorts in their truck 3 sizes too small.  I was ecstatic, but she had to change her son so without thinking i said, “lets trade jobs.”  I grabbed her son the diapers and wipes and she went to get the shorts.  We meet back up and traded back.  

SO Hunter has something to cover his bum and we can stay for the rest of church because the other kids were being good for the time being and we didn’t want to make them leave if they were gonna behave. HA!  that didn’t last.

I literally had to drag kicking and screaming and cram the boys into the primary room.  We went from well behaved to completely flying out of control and me instantly regretting the deception to stay for the rest of church.  But as quickly think, “well this wasn’t worth it.” I turn around to tell Brandon time to go when he says the bishop just stopped him and asked him to stay so that he can talk to us at 2:45 which is 45minuets after church ends and hour and a half from now. “You have got to be kidding me.”  *sigh*

The rest of the day went just about the same.  I am ready to pass out and LUCKILY it is snowing.  Yippee!!!  I love snow days.  I don’t have to get a lesson prepared for homeschool and Brandon spends tons of time playing with the kids inside and outside so that i can get a bunch of work done that has been piling up.

So all in all the day went about like this:  Yes that is my child walking around in seriously tight bright almost neon blue shorts with winter boots walking around church today.  Yes that is one of my children that you hear screaming at the top of their lungs on the other side of the building for who knows what reason.  Yes that is me getting my mommy of the year award for forcefully cramming her children through the primary door while saying, “If your don’t get in that room i swear i am gonna beat you”.  And YES that is me hiding in my car for 15 minuets so that none of them can find me…….church is soooo much fun.

4 Comments to The insanity that is a trip to church for Hurricane Jeffries:

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Brandon Jeffries on Sunday, February 02, 2014 10:42 PM
This is Daddy and thought i would add a little something. After taking Mason to help him pay his tithing,i had to drag to primary. After peeling him off my arm throwing him into the primary room. All of a sudden, i see these hands that come out of nowhere snatch him thru the door and out of sight. It was awesome! I had to take a second look thru the door to make sure that was my wife was doing the snatching. I thought to myself "oh thats great! they finally called someone in primary to grab children that come thru the door and keep them from escaping." I didn't mind if someone else other than my wife was being aggressive with my some son. They needed to be in class not roaming the halls. I can't watch all of them all the time. I don't know how my wife does this all by herself every other sunday.
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Judy Storms on Monday, February 03, 2014 7:46 AM
Love the last line Brandon! You guys seem to be a great team!

Judy Storms on Monday, February 03, 2014 7:50 AM
Ok I just want to say the first thought seeing Hunter in the neon blue shorts was, " brave boy wearing that on a cold day, and awesome boots and of course awesome mom. Also when seeing Airabella I was completely jealous and wished I could wear comfy shoes to church just like her. And by the way, she is adorable!
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